Of Washing Machines and Wizards
by twilightm00n
Summary: In response to TheEvilBanana'a challenge!  How would Harry deal with Mr. Weasley when trying to teach him about muggle laundry?  Read to find out!


Twilightm00n has been challenged by TheEvilBanana!

Challenge: Write an HP story about Harry educating Mr. Weasley on muggles in a hands-on experience. Must include: A washing machine, spaghetti and flip flops.

**Of Washing Machines and Wizards**

"It's really quite simple, Mr. Weasley."

Harry James Potter, the infamous Boy Who Lived, was in quite a predicament. How it had come to this the young wizard had absolutely no idea. But, in some horrific, sick twist of fate (Harry really needed to find out how to use the Bat-Bogey Hex so he could use it on the life-screwing dunghead), he found himself attempting to teach his best friend's father how to wash clothes- _without magic. _Apparently, Arthur Weasley had defied his formidable wife yet again and had gone to a muggle garage sale and purchased some new toys.

"This is called a wash machine, right Harry?"

"Errr… it's actually called a wash_ing_ machine, Mr. Weasley. Muggles use these to clean their clothes instead of Scourgifying charms. They're right useful."

"Simply, _amazing_!"

Mr. Weasley looked almost apoplectic with excitement at his chance to use the non-magical implement. On the other hand, Harry was just somewhat bemused at the red-haired wizard's antics. Ron's dad and his quirks…

"You see," Harry said while taking a spaghetti sauce-stained blouse in his hand, "the detergent there will take off the sauce when you run the cycle. Then all you need to do is dry it and you're done."

"Detergent? It looks like some sort of potion… Judging by the fragrance, a Hair-Cleansing Solution. This blouse isn't made from furs though, Harry. Are you sure it will work?"

Struggling to hide his grin and succeeding only barely, Harry attempted to explain once more.

"It's not a Hair-Cleansing Solution Mr. Weasley, it's just a soap for the clothes. You dab it on in the little basin here after you put in the clothes and it'll clean everything."

Still looking a bit skeptical, Mr. Weasley nodded.

"Right. Now the next thing you need to know about washing clothes the muggle way is that you have to group the clothes properly. If you don't, you'll probably end up with pink grundies at some point," he continued while Mr. Weasley listened attentively. "The general rule of thumb is that you never put anything red with anything else that isn't red."

Looking somewhat confused, the muggle-fond wizard pointed at the white red-stained blouse and said, "So what you mean is that I should put that with the other reds like those pants over there?"

Now appearing a tad frustrated, the only one who could defeat Voldemort tried to clarify.

"Well, actually that would go with the non-reds. The _stain_ is red, but the blouse itself is white, see?"

"I'll take your word for it Harry…"

Walking over to the dryer now and faltering slightly as he tripped over one of Ginny's stray flip flops, Harry gathered his courage as he readied himself to explain the dryer. '_I am a Gryffindor. I am a Gryffindor,'_ he chanted in his mind. Suddenly imagining how Voldemort would react if he managed to glimpse into Harry's mind right now, the green-eyed teen almost burst out laughing. _'He'd probably snuff it after seeing something so impure-blooded. Save me a load of trouble tracking the evil git down though.'_

Getting back to business, Harry gestured to the old dryer and began his explanation in response Mr. Weasley's curious gaze.

"This thing here is called a dryer, Mr. Weasley. After the clothes are washed in the washing machine muggles put them into here where they get dried and so they can wear them."

"It's so much more complicated than a heating spell! They're _ingenious!_"

"Do you think you're ready to try them out?"

"Of course! Let's get right on it!"

-After 30 minutes, much swearing and soapsuds-

"I think we did rather well," said the now wet and soapy Mr. Weasley as he evaluated their handy work.

Harry looked at the pink, shrunken and inexplicably charred mess and imagined Mrs. Weasley when she saw her clothes. Shuddering from the mental carnage, he decided that now would be a good time to pick up his school things from Diagon Alley. Far, _far_ away from the Weasley matriarch.

AN: Hope you enjoyed! If you did check out my survival guide too! -shameless promoting-


End file.
